I made this for English Class

Questing Time

                One day Gordon Frohman was sitting at his computer when he saw an email from his cousin Gordon Freeman.

“Oh no! My cousin is in trouble!” Gordon Frohman said as he read the email. The email from Gordon Freeman said that Gordon was fighting an army of scary people in a town called Ravenholm. Gordon Frohman remembered his father telling him things about Ravenholm when he was a child.

“We don’t go to Ravenholm.” Eli always said. Gordon took his shotgun Sasha from his underwear drawer and said, “Now I will save my cousin!” He ran up the stairs to his roof and got on his fancy newfangled motorcycle. “Questing time!” He yelled as he went off of the giant purple ramp on his roof. He did a quadruple backflip and landed on the road. He was going 123 miles per hour seven minutes later when a police man pulled him over.

“You are going over the speed limit and are now sentenced to public execution.” As the police man said that, Gordon saw that his badge said S.P.S, or Scary Person Syndicate.

“I am sorry sir, but that event is cancelled,” Gordon said. “Because I will tie you to a tree and you will be arrested by astronauts.”

“Oh, noodles! You found my secret identity!” The S.P.S agent said as Gordon tied him to a tree. “I’m allergic to space!”

“Well then maybe space is allergic to you!” Gordon drove away from a very confused agent on his motorcycle. Then he drove past a burning house.

“Help me! Help me!” He heard someone say. He ran upstairs and saw that the person yelling was an old lady.

“I will save you because I am nice and cool!” Gordon said in his nicest, coolest voice. He threw the old lady out the window and she landed on the grass.

“Thank you!” The old lady said. Gordon drove away once again, and he saw a man with no hair on the side of the road. The man was crying because he had no hair. Gordon took an afro wig out of his bag. “How can I ever repay you?” The bald man asked.

“You can’t, because no price is good enough for me, unless it is two million dollars.” Gordon replied, and the bald man gave him two million dollars. Gordon hit no more problems on his drive to Ravenholm. He hit his brakes when he saw a sign that said “Welcome to Ravenholm, We Don’t Come Here”. Wow, I guess Dad wasn’t kidding, Frohman thought. Now to find my cousin, and save him! He went into Ravenholm and looked at the ruins. Ravenholm used to be a nuclear testing ground, and after the radiation went away, the S.P.S took over. “Talk about eye candy.” Frohman mumbled, looking around at all the damage that had been done. He was checking out one of the houses when he heard a noise coming from the attic. He decided to go in. “This is the part where the main character dies in horror movies! I LOVE that part! That means I’m the main character! Yay!” He went into the attic, and his celebrating stopped short.

“Hello! I have been in this attic for three years!” There was a crazy looking old man in the corner, surrounded by water bottles and cans of food. Frohman was disappointed.

“So, are you going to kill me?” Gordon said in a slightly depressed tone.

“No.” The old man replied, grinning happily.

“Not even a little bit?” Gordon was getting desperate.

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Fine.” Frohman was defeated. “I guess I’m not the main character after all.” He started to cry.

“Well, I won’t kill you, but my pet will!” Gordon saw a chiuaua in the corner. It was foaming at the mouth and had sharp fangs, but it looked strangely artificial. It leapt at Gordon, but before it could do anything else, Gordon shot it with Sasha. He then saw the tag on it’s hindquarters that said “Chilly the Chiuaua”. “You shot my authentic Chiuaua Pets: Rabid Collector’s Edition!” The old man yelled.

“I’m sorry, but sometimes, you must make sacrifices for the greater good, and by Greater Good I mean me.” Gordon jumped out the window and landed on his motorcycle. He drove away and then jumped off when he heard fighting. Gordon Freeman was hitting the S.P.S with his crowbar.

“Frohman! Thank you for coming here to save me!” Gordon Freeman said. “Can you help me!?”

“Of course I can cousin, but first let me eat my cheeseburger!” After eating his cheeseburger, Frohman attacked all of the S.P.S agents. After a long battle, Gordon and Gordon had won. “Wow! We did it! Gordon Freeman said happily.

“Yes we did!” But then Gordon Freeman saw a sniper on the roof pointing at Frohman.

“Look out!” Gordon Freeman said and jumped in front of Gordon Frohman. He got hit square in the chest.

“NO!” Frohman yelled.

“Gordon… I need to tell you something… we are not cousins, we are br… bro… brothersssss.” Everything made sense to Frohman now. How Dad called them both son, how they always called each other brothers, how they lived in the same house, and how he had a cousin but no uncles or aunts. “By the way… I’m wearing a bulletproof vest, so I’m not really dead.” But Frohman was not listening.

“OH WHY GOD WHY? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HIM FROM wait a minute say what? You’re alive?” Frohman was sad now. “That means neither of us are the main character.”

“Let’s go home.” Freeman said. So Gordon Frohman got on his motorcycle and Gordon Freeman got on his elephant that he had painted purple, and they rode home, into the sunset, and were happy for two days and three hours after. The end.